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 The Problem Love and Relationship
The Problem
The problem nowadays is that many people believe that love leaps forth naturally. The bible clearly noted that a-ga'pe (Agape love) is an unselfish act; however, the world has place agape love in a pornographic content. Agape love does not base its action on emotion because it is a choice of the will that leads to action. Many individuals go into a marriage based on sexual gratification and "what you can do for me" type of relationship. As you can see, selfishness is a major issue that often leads to divorce.
When people are selfish, the minds are often shallow. A shallow minded individual is opening up potential for a breakdown in communication and marriage.
Communication is a therapeutic action or gesture that moves a person to learn, understand, and act out on his or her new findings appropriately. In fact,
records illustrated that 50% of the couples that attended counseling were divorced, or else contemplating divorce. Communication is having an open-mind without defilement while exploring possibilities, reading between the lines, and listening and hearing what the other person has to say. Communication is more effective when both parties consider the others needs, wants, feelings, emotions, values, and beliefs. Of course all elements are needed to set the basis of communication, however, communication expands further. Most people believe that communication is verbal. This is not true. Communication consists of body language, environment, expressions, words, et cetera. Have you sat down and spent five minutes with you spouse gazing into each other's eyes? If you have you are communicating feelings, emotions, and words that you may have missed when both of you were arguing back and forth. Have you looked at your mates material tastes? If so, you are getting a message as to what your spouse is interested in, or prefers over other needs. What about your spouse's behavior patterns, gestures, et cetera, behaviors can speak a million languages if you take the time to study closely.
Another issue within the communication area that many struggle with (and the issue is related to lack of education), is dialect. We all have our way of communicating. We all have our own languages. This is where you will need to listen carefully, and hear what the other person is saying. It certainly helps if you take the time to learn more about your partner's customs, traditions, beliefs, et cetera.
Communication is an act of showing love to one another, provided, that argumentation or communication does not lead to aggression, or violent behaviors. Few relationships are consuming their energy by arguing throughout their relationship, thus eventually if an agreement does not fall in place, the relationship will fall apart. If a person is in a violent/abusive relationship, the final, result will lead to death and/or termination of using their body to function in society. Thus, abusive relationships lead nowhere but to further harm. Thus, abusive relationships are dangerous and recommendations are clear that the partner victimized by the mate should remove them self from the relationship as peaceful and quiet as possible to avoid further harm.
Often persons' in abusive relationship believe that the mate will change. It has happen once or twice throughout the history of abusive relationships, but for the most part the person will not change his course in life. Therefore, hoping is only wasting time, whereas the victim can escape and find true love where no pain is involved. The statistics show that every 3 seconds a woman is beaten and out of the abusive statistics, every couple of seconds a woman dies.
In the past, abusive relationships were men battering women, but nowadays women fed up with abuse are hitting back. The communication illustrating in the fights only lead to death or uncovering harm. If children are in the picture, thus it is more complicated, since the abusive party often utilizes the children as a decoy to act out violently and prevent the mate from leaving. Abusive partners will lie, cheat, steal, hurt, and even murder. Therefore, the problem nowadays is not only failure in the communication channels; it is far more deadly in some instances than breakdowns in a marriage.
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