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How to Help Kids with your second marriageA second marriage can be an exciting time, a period of lots of change and new roles and responsibilities. When kids are involved, its important for couples to take the time to learn about their needs and how the changes may be affecting them. Kids will slowly adjust to the changes, but they sometimes need assurance and encouragement to understand what is going on. Especially if the kids are young, they may have difficulty accepting what is going on with their new family.
If there was significant discord in the first marriage, it might be difficult for kids to adjust successfully with the changes. A second
marriage may feel confusing, and if there are new siblings to become acquainted with, this can be especially difficult. Paying attention to every kids needs and concerns is important, and it may help to work with a counselor to sort through difficult issues.
If the second marriage involves new parenting roles, time and patience will be required so that the kids can be comfortable being themselves. Conflicts from the first marriage may be too close to their memory, or they may not get along with other new family members. Its essential that conflicts are resolved easily and effectively. Talking things out, holding family meetings, resolving each issue as it arises, and just listening can all help.
Sometimes kids view a second marriage as shameful, and might withdraw or overreact to situations without any direct cause. If they are still in touch with the parent from the first marriage, its important to make sure they are developing a healthy relationship and growing positively with either parents or families. It can be hard to share views and perspectives if the first marriage parents are still not on good terms. Again, listening, positive encouragement and strong lines of communication are essential for healthy growth.
If kids are having difficulties with social relationships, schoolwork, after-school activities, or anything seems out of balance, its important for both parents to understand the changes taking place. Working with guidance counselors may help if the kids are having difficulty relating to people. If they are not comfortable around adults, this can be a cause for concern. Sibling rivalry can also cause daily disruptions, and all arguments and matters need to be resolved maturely and sensibly. Making sure the kids have a healthy home environment to grow and play in is vital. They need to feel secure when everything else around them feels so new and different.
Second marriages can and do succeed, despite any setbacks the previous marriage or marriages may have encountered. When kids are involved, there are many positive ways to help them and let them grow. Kids can learn new skills, find out better ways of communicating with all parents involved, and develop strong bonds and ties. Its important that they feel safe and secure so that they can make strong decisions throughout the process. A second marriage can bring a lot of positive things, and help everyone lead a happy, healthy, and productive life with the right perspective.
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